I Predict…

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I took a trip back to Emode, and found an ESP test.
I took it. I just had to.

And the results?

Armafair, when it comes to psychic abilities, you have an usually strong talent in the area of Precognition. This means you have an uncanny ability to look into the future and know ahead of time what is going to happen

I knew they were going to say that.

Botox And Armpits

Botox smoothes out smelly armpits.

CHICAGO (Reuters) – Botox shots commonly used to temporarily smooth facial wrinkles may also be an aid to those with smelly armpits, a German study says. Volunteers were asked to rate the intensity and “unpleasant” or “pleasant” odour of cut-out armpits from T-shirts worn by 16 people given shots with the botulinum toxin A — known as Botox — in one armpit and a harmless solution in the other. Botox, a purified form of the toxin that causes botulism food poisoning, smoothes wrinkles and paralyses sweat glands by interfering with neurotransmitters and relaxing muscles.

(All this in the interest of science. Would YOU consider the research important enough to let someone stick a hypo-deemic nerdle into your armpits?)
Not content with packing an anti-deodorant, or anti-perspirant in our bags when we go to the gym, we’ll now have to carry syringes and inject a botulism toxin into our armpits just to make sure. And it also relaxes muscles, which is really going to help me with my bench presses (not).

Oh, hang on..

…According to the study, published in the journal Archives of Dermatology on Monday, the T-shirts were worn for a 24-hour period and rated from zero to six for smell intensity and minus-3 to plus-3 for the “unpleasant” or “pleasant” quality of the odour. Study author Marc Heckmann of Ludwig-Maximilian University in Munich said the armpits scored an average 2.69 on the intensity scale before treatment, falling to 1.83 after treatment… As to smell quality, the scores averaged minus-1.14 before treatment and plus-0.46 after…

Ah, right. I get it.

*sniff*

0.62 and minus-0.37, and not a wrinkle in sight.

Reasonable IQ

According to Emode, I have an IQ of 135 and am a precision processor.

Which basically means:

You’ve got a very experiential way of learning and a strong mathematical mind. You’re able to whittle even the most complex situation down to comprehensible component parts. In short, you have mastered the art and science of precision.

Errm, ok.

Thoughts To Think About

Don’t just read through the list but instead, read each one and think about it for a moment before moving on..

1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, wo’n’t make you cry.

2. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’t have them.

5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

7. Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.

8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

9. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

10. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

12. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Bubbles Don’t Scrub

Isn’t it a pity that marketing companies don’t say what we all know they really mean when they try and push a product on us. Let’s face it, we aren’t stupid, are we? Scrubbing Bubbles? Like these little bubbles actually scrub the bowl for you?
Most bubbles I get friendly with usually just *pop*, but maybe I just hang out with the wrong kind of bubble..

So why can’t we get more of this kind of advert? After all, that’s what they really mean, isn’t it?

 

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In Search Of God?

Ted Danson is searching for the Loch Ness Monster on my TV screen (SciFi – Loch Ness). He might have found it, but we will never know for sure. Until the end of the film, that is. His character also claims to have been in search of Sasquatch (Big Foot, Yeti etc.) but never found any hard evidence that the creature existed.
Nessy, Sasquatch, Fairies, Angels.. let’s even go as far as adding God to the list – or the god or goddess of any religion, for that matter.

All these things have one thing in common: to date, there is no proof that any of them exist at all.

Would we like them to exist? I don’t think anyone would say “no”. There is something about the unknown that fascinates us, and compells some of us to spend a lifetime searching, one way or another, for conclusive answers.

So let’s say we go in search of the fairies that live at the bottom of your garden. We take a full year and camp out, spending mornings, days, afternoons and nights sitting and staring at the spot we know they will be if they are going to be anywhere at all.
After a full year, with not so much as a rustle of grass, we give up and come to the conclusion that fairies do not exist. What we should be concluding is that they don’t exist in a form that is readily seen.

Belief in the afterlife aside, can you close you eyes and see the face of someone you know well, but who has died? Can you see every line and feature of their face; every gesture that they made; every personality trait; the sound of their voice? Sure you can.
But what is it that you are seeing? Accepted, it is not actually them. It is a memory of them that you hold and can recall in a moment. But the image exists, and so it can be claimed that in one form they do, indeed, exist.

And the same for fairies. The year we spent looking for them produced no physical results, but in the same way we see the face of one departed, we can see the image of the fairy. Their form is practically unmistakable. If I showed you a classic sketch of a fairy, you would know what it was. You recall seeing one before, and you make the connection. What do you compare it with? The image that you hold in your mind. So they do exist, albeit not in the form we might like them to. They exist in our minds, in our souls. They exist because we <i.want< i=””> them to and so we create them, if only within ourselves.

These thoughts and ideas might, possibly, be made manifest, but that is not what concerns us now. What is important is that what we want to believe exists, does.

The unicorn, that we imagine to be running gracefully across a clearing in the woods. The Yeti (maybe, maybe not) who we see trudging through the snow and leaving those familiar prints behind it. Even the Jabberwocky, thanks to Lewis Carroll, exists in the minds of those who know it.

Does it matter if all these things cannot be scientifically explained away? No, because they exist right now in a place where they are most needed: in our hearts.

(Mis)fortune?

Before I settled down for the night – or, more correctly, what was left of it – I had an overwhelming urge to have my fortune spelled out to me.

As the mists of mystery cleared, the fog of foreboding lifted and the clouds of something else altogether dissipated, I was left with no doubt as to what the future held..

 

hamsters

Don’t Look Here

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I have spent a long time searching for the answers to life, the universe and everything.

I thought I had looked everywhere.

Then I realised that there was one place I hadn’t checked..