Colombian Cucumber Barons

Swazi women bare bottoms to police – [BBC NEWS]

A lone policeman stood up against the might of the female Swazi street-vendors recently, after he caught them trying to sell their fruit and veg in a bus rank in Mbabane (yes, I checked the spelling, thank you).

When the women saw him, they took their assorted fruit and legumes in hand and made a run for it. All except one, whose melons were a little on the large side and who couldn’t outrun the sprightly policeman. Seems she put up a damn good fight – even going as far as shedding clothes – to try and avoid being manhandled into the waiting police van. Chaos followed when onloookers and fellow veggie-vendors hurled anything to hand at the bewildered law-enforcement guy, who also had to defend himself against a torrent of verbal abuse.

Fearing for his safety (well hell yes.. when you’ve got plums raining down on you, you would, wouldn’t you?) he pulled out his gun and fired a shot into the air.

Alerted by the noise and the chance of some free food, the police-dude’s colleagues came to his rescue, wielding batons and, no doubt in my mind, carrier bags for the displaced fruit and veg, and boldy rescued him.

Then they all stood and watched as the women turned their backs and lifted their skirts above their waists.

The police officers stared in disbelief at the array of bottoms of all different shapes and sizes, and the colourful array of underwear on display.

It was work as normal on Thursday.

Nice to see, though, a colourful oasis of fun in this otherwise dismal, almost-war torn place we call home.

And there’ll be more from the Veggie Tales archives next time when we meet up with Hugo, the self proclaimed (but not very successful) Columbian Cucumber Baron.

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