Women Bible Authors?

Now if a woman had written the Bible..

In the beginning God created Eve, and she had three breasts. After a few weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. “How’s things, Eve?” He asked.
“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just have this one problem. It’s these three breasts you’ve given me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches, snagging them on bushes – they’re a real pain,” reported Eve.
“That’s a fair point,” replied God, “but it was my first shot at you, you know. I gave the animals, what, six? So I just figured you’d need half, but I see that you are right. I’ll fix that up right away!” God reaches down and removes the middle breast, tossing it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the garden.”Well, Eve, how’s my favorite creation?” He asked.
“Just fantastic,” she replied, “but for one small oversight on your part. You see, the animals are paired off. The ewe has her ram, the cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”
God thought for a moment. “You know, Eve, you’re right. How could I have overlooked this! You do need a mate and I will immediately create Man from a part of you!
Now, let’s see…where did I put that useless tit?”

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